Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | Googl e Podcasts | Pocket Castsįalling in love can be exhilarating, but it isn’t the secret to happiness per se. Vivek Murthy discuss remedies to alleviate the impact of loneliness on our daily lives in How to Build a Happy Life. For example, if I had been shown the evidence that “destiny beliefs” about soul mates or love being meant to be can predict low forgiveness when paired with attachment anxiety, I would have said, “Well, duh.” I certainly didn’t need a social scientist with a Ph.D.-future me-to present young me with scholarly evidence that a lot of unhappiness can attend the early stages of romantic passion. The long-distance relationship before I moved to Spain was filled with agonizing phone calls, unintelligible letters, and constant misunderstandings. After a year punctuated by two frustratingly short visits, I quit my job in New York and moved to Barcelona with a plan to learn the language and a prayer that when she could actually understand me, she might love me.įalling in love was Sturm und Drang: euphoric at times, but also risky, fraught, and emotionally draining. Obviously, I told my amused father, “she has no idea I plan to marry her.” But I was 24 and lovestruck, and none of that stopped me from embarking on a quixotic romantic adventure. “I think I may have met my future wife,” I told my father on the phone, “but there are a few issues.” To be precise: I met the woman in question on a weeklong trip to Europe, she lived in Spain, we’d only been on a couple of dates, and we didn’t speak a word of the same language. “ How to Build a Life ” is a weekly column by Arthur Brooks, tackling questions of meaning and happiness.
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